Welcome back to The Frank Truth Show. I’m your host, Frank Truth, pastor of Majestic Southern Eagle Church in Northwest, GA.

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At FrankTruth.Net, you can leave me a voicemail that might be played on the program.

On the program this week, we’ll be talking about:

• Tim Tebow and Life Surge

• Halloween

• Pizza and Mac & Cheese with Jesus

• The War with Iran

• Testosterone-Fueled Jesus

• Woke Watchlist

• Listener question

Truthers can watch the video podcast and get each week’s bonus segment 👇

America First and God Bless the USA 🇺🇸

Frank

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Christian Comment of the Day

Halloween is just around the corner, and John McNutbag has something to say about it!

Yes, I feel that Halloween is just clean fun.

Today’s Satirical Headline

IDAHO—While at work, accountant E. Zuhlee Imprest had a discussion with a coworker about the existence of God.

After swinging and missing on a handful of attempts to convince his atheist challenger, Imprest reached deep into his bag and said “LOOK AT THE TREES!”

Stunned and disoriented from this amazing new evidence, his interlocutor stepped down and said “Wow, you’re right. I never thought of that before.”

One Other Thing

I was a guest (for the 2nd time) on Jesus Stole Our Movies! This time, we discuss The Thing, which has quickly become one of my favorite horror movies of all time!

Thanks for reading and remember: you don’t need a god to be good!

Kevin

P.S. Paid subscribers get bonus content every week and help support the work I’m doing.

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Hopefully I can bring you a laugh or two during this hellish time.

Christian Comment of the Day

Sometimes, I get comments from people who make me question how they even make it through the work day…

If someone is willing to say all of this back to back on a public platform, what kind of nonsense are they spouting behind closed doors??

Today’s Satirical Headline

HEAVEN—It didn’t take long for long-time Christian scammer Jim Bakker to start pulling his stunts in the afterlife.

Bakker, who many people thought would be destined for Hell, actually bribed an angel hanging around the gates of Heaven to let him in. Bakker gave the angel a bottle of liquid called “Top Angel” that, when consumed, is supposed to propel the drinker into God’s favor.

Reports say that Bakker is wearing a disguise as he walks the streets of gold, hoping not to be noticed by Jesus.

One Other Thing

I recently was a guest on Secular Spotlight, a show from the Freedom From Religion Foundation. Check it out and go subscribe to their channel!

Thanks for reading and remember: you don’t need a god to be good!

Kevin

P.S. Paid subscribers get bonus content every week and help support the work I’m doing.

Get 30% off today!

WASHINGTON—In an unexpected move on Monday night, the Lord God Almighty himself has instructed his chosen savior of the United States, Donald Trump, to suggest that Iran, a country that Trump attacked for no goddamn reason, attack Los Angeles or San Diego.

President Trump, who will 100% definitely accept the results of the midterm elections, seems to be getting desperate to bring up his 29% approval rating.

“Well, I back him, no matter what he does,” said Colt Member, a three-time Trump voter and front-pew-sitter at First White Baptist Church.

TURKEY—Stop me if you’ve heard this one before: someone has claimed to have found the beanstalk from Jack and the Beanstalk.

Phulla Sheuit, whose past discoveries include Little Red Riding’s hood, the straw house from the Three Little Pigs, the porridge eaten by Goldilocks, and the witch’s oven from Hansel and Gretel, has added the storied beanstalk to his list.

It should be noted, however, that all of his previous discoveries have been proven false.

Sheuit is the latest in a long history of people claiming to have found the beanstalk, and beanstalk believers aka Beanlievers are convinced that this discovery is for real…like totally for real this time.

We’ll report back two weeks from now when everyone has forgotten about this, and, when someone else claims to have found the ‘stalk in a few years, we’ll report back then, too.

Rather than fading into obscurity, Kid Rock is taking the path that many artists before him have taken: he’s pivoting to Christianity.

Most celebrities are a bit more subtle with their moves to prey on the vulnerable Christian right, but Kid is taking a more in-your-face approach by calling his upcoming album “Christian Grift.”

“Yeah, I just figured that these people are too stupid to even care that I’m pandering to them,” Rock said on Friday afternoon.

WASHINGTON—Spicy Secretary of War Pete Hegseth is doing his damndest to make the United States military a Christian club.

“We don’t want any trannies, grannies, beardos, weirdos, or fatties. We’re looking for chiseled, beardless, hawt guys only,” Hegseth said in front of the mirror on Thursday morning. He added “All I want to do is hang out with shredded dudes who love Jesus and alcohol” before giggling and putting a container and a half of pomade on his dome.

All eyes are on the nation’s capital as we move closer to a theocracy.

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Living in the South as an atheist is interesting. People pretty much assume you’re a Christian, especially if you look like me.

I live in Knoxville. I walk downtown a lot. There are always Jehovah’s Witnesses standing around, pushing their “Free Bible Courses.”

Last year, a street preacher told me that I would believe in Jesus one day, insinuating that I’m fucked on Judgment Day. I told him to go fuck himself.

This past Saturday was especially interesting because #14 Tennessee hosted #1 Texas, College Gameday was here, and, on top of that, President Donald Bitchass Trump was scheduled to attend the game.

My fiancee and I walked over to the stadium to catch some of Gameday and the hoopla. We saw people with Jesus Saves signs, another dude was preaching an End Times scare sermon on the corner. I asked him who he voted for, but he didn’t reply.

We also saw a dude proudly wearing a MAGA hat. It was a bit jarring to see someone so confidently wearing that in the year of our lord and savior Jesus Christ 2026. I said “Bold to wear that hat in 2026” and asked if he liked pedophiles. His response? “Last time someone said that to me, they ended up in jail.” Okay, Boomer.

The other guy with him accused me of not being a fan of free speech. The irony is off the charts. Anyway…

It’s time for 4-3-2-1!

• 4 Comments from Christians

• 3 Cringey Christian Posts with No Context

• 2 Things You Should Know About

• 1 Thing to Brighten Your Day

4 Comments from Christians

Ah, yes. Perhaps I should wait until people with faith start pushing their political agendas, since that doesn’t happen 24/7 in the United States.

I’m sure this sounded intelligent in Ray’s head. He talks shit about godless people but then also calls Allah “the funny stupid demon.” Does he know that Allah is just another word for his god?

“Did you know that religion helps people feel better and less hopeless?”

Yes, Keith. We fucking know that.

Christians cancelled Bud Light for having a trans person in a commercial.

And while there might not be a lot of overtly Christian school shooters, there are many mass shootings carried out by Christians.

Mass shooter Robert Bowers said “Jews are the children of Satan” before killing 11 Jewish people at a synagogue.

The dude who shot up a massage parlor in Atlanta had “Pizza, guns, drums, music, family, and God. This pretty much sums up my life. It’s a pretty good life.” as his bio.

I'm in. Let's go!

3 Cringey Christian Posts with No Context

Every time I question my sanity, I find stuff like this and know that I’m okay.

2 Things You Should Know About

1. I’ll be speaking at Rocket City Reason in late October, and, if you can’t attend in person, they are offering virtual tickets for just $25!

There are many great speakers and panels. Check it out: https://rocketcityreason.com

2. The Frank Truth Show is back!

You may be following me for a myriad of reasons, but my real passion is humor. I especially love to make people laugh about the ridiculousness of Christian nationalism, and I do that through satire.

On The Frank Truth Show, I play a southern pastor who dives into the biggest news in religion and politics (and some pop culture).

I did a few episodes last year as a test, and I am really looking forward to producing a consistent show.

New episodes hit your inbox every Sunday with bonus content for paid subscribers. I hope you enjoy listening as much as I enjoy making this content!

1 Thing to Brighten Your Day

I just found this voice actor who has been doing negative political ads on Instagram. I was cracking up:

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Thank you for reading, and remember: You don’t need a god to be good.

Kevin

I like to have a bit of fun from time to time, and there’s nothing that gives me that opportunity more than a Christian who is trying to insult me while simultaneously using poor grammar.

I made a post about not being scared of hell or something… fuck, I don’t remember, and this chode with six total letters in his name chimed in:

LOL he forgot the comma. What a loser!

I really don’t get scared of online threats. Maybe I should, but I think they’re all just keyboard warriors who can’t even afford to put gas in their cars to come find me.

Like this fuckwipe:

What are you going to do? Tell me how much you love Donald Trump?

Check out the bio…

These are all small, insecure men who hate their lives and/or wives.

The religious people do not like this one:

My point is that, if a Heaven exists (which I don’t think it does), then it’s more likely that kind, empathetic humans will be allowed in.

I think there’s a far greater chance that is reality than the Christian God being real.

Again, I don’t think there is an afterlife, so that chance is small, in my opinion.

But the people who always say definitively that I have “absolutely no chance” are supporters of DJT.

Exhibit A:

Antonio is coming in hot!

“Gonna continue to win.”

Yeah, if you rig the election. Everyone else is sick of your goddamn shit.

That last sentence is pretty scary, though.

But then again, I expect nothing else from these scared, fragile men.

Every now and then I’ll make a “marked safe from church” post on the socials.

Guess whether or not this brings out the worst in the crazy Christians:

Once you’re out of the church, it’s so weird to think that people still believe in an ETERNAL LAKE OF FIRE.

That’s some fantasy novel shit.

The worst comment of the week is for paid subscribers and sums up Evangelicals so well 👇

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“First and foremost, I just want to blame my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ for causing me to throw three interceptions.” Those were the post-game words spoken by freshman quarterback Eyegot Faith after Central Northwestern Christian Tech Church of God University lost 38-3 to rivals Heretical State.

Senior linebacker Johnny Trustfund, who left with a lower leg injury in the 3rd quarter, chimed in with “I am so not blessed.”

Just when things were starting to look dire for Evangelical Christians, The White House has launched TrumpTV! Now, MAGA Christians can tune in and listen to how they can still blame Joe Biden for insanely high gas and grocery prices.

If you’ve followed me for any length of time, you know that I’ve created content under the handle @JesusUnfollower for many years!

I started way back in 2019, mostly making memes about being an ex-Christian and leaving religion. Then, I started a podcast about it. Then, I started making YouTube videos about it. Then, short form content became a thing again (RIP, Vine), and I started making short form content about it.

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What I’ve discovered along the way is that I love making content for former Christians and current nonbelievers. The DMs and comments that I get from people who say that my content has helped in any way means the WORLD to me.

This newsletter will still be called Jesus Unfollower, and it will still have the same goal: to laugh at religious absurdity.

But, I changed my handle from @JesusUnfollower to @KevinCroweComedy on all platforms for a few reasons:

1. As much as I love making content about religion, that’s not all I want to do. More than anything, I love to make people laugh, so I want to branch out some. My social media posts will still primarily be about religion, but I want to experiment with some more stuff.

2. The handle JesusUnfollower feels kinda cringe to me now. I still think it’s kind of funny, but it also feels very 2015 angry Reddit atheist, and that’s just not me. If I reply to someone online and they see my handle, they are probably less likely to believe that I’m engaging in good faith.

3. I want to start doing some comedy shows, so making content under my own name makes more sense to me.

Thank you to everyone subscribed here or following me elsewhere! It really means a lot.

And remember: You don’t need a god to be good.

Kevin

P.S. This newsletter will NOT become a broad comedy newsletter. It will still be the same content you signed up for, so I hope you stick around!

Christians on social media have a problem with my content. Some, so much so, that they leave me a poor review.

Here are a few:

It kinda wants to make me change the name of my page to “having empathy.”

“James Adams doesn’t recommend having empathy.” Sounds more accurate.

The amount of hateful comments about the trans community that I see daily is astounding.

Comment #2 is from a guy named Daddy Duck, and he is mad that I don’t love Charlie Kirk. 👇

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I must have pissed Bobby off, somehow. I’m guessing I said something about his savior.

No, not Jesus. I meant Trump.

“Cock is nice, I admit.” is hilarious!

Seems like maybe he does care where people put their… checks notes… cock or vagina.

And, wait, does he think I’m an AI bot or a real person? He seems to be saying both.

Comment #2 is for paid subscribers, and I’m pretty sure this guy is trying to get in my pants👇

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When I see angry Christians in my comments, I think of them getting angry and yelling nonsense like Yosemite Sam.

That’s exactly how Pedro’s comment feels:

How is it possible to get every single claim wrong?

I don’t claim to know more about Jesus than people who study the subject.

I’m not a girl pretending to be a male.

I’m not anti-God.

I’m not a fascist.

I’m not a racist.

Taylor Swift doesn’t worship Satan.

Donald Trump doesn’t follow the Bible.

Holy shit, this guy is too far gone.

Comment #2 is for paid subscribers, and it’s more unhinged than the first one 👇

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This week, I’m reacting to a comically bad video by EmpowerU called “Jesus vs 20 Atheists.”

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Here’s a huge block of text. Cookie goes to the first person who can figure out what the fuck he’s trying to say.

Bro is using ALL of the words that he can’t define.

I mainly feel sorry for any female coworkers he might have because you just KNOW this dude stares creepily at them all day long.

Thank you for reading, and remember: You don’t need a god to be good.

Kevin

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There are many reasons why a person might not believe in god:

1. The problem of evil

2. Lack of evidence

3. Simulation theory

4. Mommy made me go to Sunday School (that’s not a real one, but that’s what Christians think happened to me to cause me to go rogue and become an atheist).

But, I’d say another convincing reason would be the fact that, if god exists, he decided to take not 1…. not 2….

…but 3 other EIGHTY YEAR OLD CELEBRITIES in 3 days that are not named Donald Trump.

First, everyone’s heart broke when Dolly passed on Tuesday.

Then, the same day, Tim Curry died.

And now we’ve lost Peter Cullen, the voice of Optimus Prime.

If there’s a god, and he decided it was THEIR time but not Donny’s, I think I’m good with sitting out eternally worshipping him.

To see the worst comments I got from Christians this week, become a paid subscriber!

I’m working on some exclusive videos that will be for paid subs only! First one drops next week.

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Your support means more than you know!

Thank you for reading, and remember: You don’t need a god to be good.

Kevin

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I’m usually not very saddened by celebrity deaths. I mean, they’re just people like the rest of us, but some of them make an impression.

For me, personally, Chester Bennington, Kobe Bryant, and Alex Trebek hit the hardest (random grouping, I know). Linkin Park’s Hybrid Theory stayed in the CD player of my 1987 Oldsmobile Calais for at least 3 straight months.

As for Mr. Trebek, my family watched Jeopardy! every single night growing up. Alex was the man.

And Kobe’s loss was just so sudden and hard to grasp.

Sadly, we just lost another good one. Dolly Parton has died at 80.

Seeing as the point of my Substack is to try to make people laugh in the hard times, I feel like this is a good time for what Milton Berle would call “an instant vacation.”

On social media, I posted “God, you took the wrong 80 year old,” implying that it should have been Donald.

Chris commented with this apt observation:

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Thank you for reading, and remember: You don’t need a god to be good.

Kevin

Around here, we give out awards to the worst and weirdest Christians.

I call it…The Fundies!

Up first, we have Buddy, who has apparently never heard the word “Evangelical” before.

Captain Vocab 🏆

The “great comedian” that I was copying? Jeff Foxworthy. I was copying the “you might be a redneck” gimmick but saying “you might be an evangelical.”

Is he saying that the amazing Foxworthy also sounds like an idiot because he uses the same word over and over again?

Also, the unnecessary commas were a great touch.

If you want to see the rest of the awards, become a paid subscriber!

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